


Sweater Weather

by miss_ardeur



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Drabble, M/M, POV First Person, obvious the nbhd reference, shitty philosophy from Cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-06
Updated: 2016-09-06
Packaged: 2018-08-13 11:05:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7974541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miss_ardeur/pseuds/miss_ardeur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s just too cold for you in California.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sweater Weather

It’s too cold for you in California.

I’m standing on the beach with my feet buried in the sand that’s slipping through my toes leaving a pleasant silky feeling. Just like you. But I can put some sand in a jar and take it home with me. The sand will stay with me till I get tired of it, and then I’ll throw it away and forget about it. **You** , on the other hand, left me by yourself and – what a paradox – I think about you all the time. You took everything you owned with you and everything that reminded me of you I got rid of later. That didn’t help.

The fall in California is incredibly cold this year. As long as you were with me I felt warmer than ever, and you took the sun away from me so that I wouldn’t be all that traumatized by the memories. I swear it was hidden inside one of your bags because I felt as if I’d lost something when you packed your stuff into the trunk of Impala...

We both know it isn’t about the sun or the weather, I just lost you and now I can’t find a single good thing amongst everything that you left me with in California. You didn’t answer my calls and messages so I stopped bothering you, pleading for you to come back, I gave up. They say, if you love someone – let them go, if you love them, you should be happy for them. But I’ve never understood these things because I wanted to keep you as close to myself as I could because you loved it, too. And now I don’t even know whether you are happy or not. I guess, you got so happy you threw your damn phone away. I could make you warm in this stupid cold California. I could let you shove your hands in the sleeves of my sweater and we’d be close again, just like old times, and you’d look at me with those love-struck eyes that’d make my head spin. But you left and I’m standing on the beach and I’m colder than ever even though I put on that freaking sweater. You left and I’m always cold, and I know that this cold is coming from within and it pushes people away from me. But I’m not afraid to be alone. I’ve already lost **you** and the rest doesn’t matter. I know I could have stopped you and then we’d fight some more and then… who knows. But it hurt so much losing you the first time that I think I wouldn’t be able to live through it twice. So you left me and I tried to forget about all of it, even about having a chance to fix everything. And when that didn’t work I _changed my mind_. It’s nobody’s fault that you’re not here.

_It’s just too cold for you in California._

**Author's Note:**

> This work was originally written in 2014 but translated into English/edited only in 2016. It does exist in another language but is not available on any other sources.  
> I like it better in English  
> Feel free to express your opinion on it, whatever you think of it.


End file.
